Ask Annie

Jan. 19, 2005

Dear Readers,

I'm retraining myself as far as my family goes. In order to maintain a peaceful coexistence with them (and not run out the door screaming during family gatherings,) I'm trying not to give much weight to what comes out of my relatives' mouths. So this Christmas, when my uncle came in, looked at our beautiful tree, and said, "That has got to be the most sparsely decorated tree I've seen in my life!" my first thought was, "Oh, my God, there's something wrong with my tree!" and then, "Oh, my God, there's something wrong with my uncle!" He, along with others in my tribe, seems to think it's acceptable to say whatever pops into his head to relatives. At our family gatherings, you hear remarks like, "Your brother has gotten so fat! Let that be a lesson to the rest of you!" And, "Wow! Your hair has gotten so much grayer (or thinner, or nonexistent) since last time I saw you!" I never did tell my uncle the tinsel story, or why our tree looked so bare, but I'll tell you. The day the tree went up, lights and ornaments were put on, and then it was time for dinner. We left the open package of tinsel on the table next to a vase of flowers. Later, darling smallest child was too quiet, and upon investigation, I found the tinsel all pulled out of the package and snarled in a pile on the carpet with the vase of flowers dumped on top. Progress is progress, so even if it's messy three year old behavior, we love to see these stages our five year old developmentally delayed daughter is going through. A bare tree to him was a full heart to me, and the older/fatter/grayer I get, the wiser I am!

Annie

Please write to:

Annie, P.O. Box 1084, Eatonville,WA 98328

E-mail: letters_annie@hotmail.com

Past Ask Annies:

Jan. 19, 2005 Pay Less Attention to Relatives' Crude Remarks

Jan. 12, 2005 Fellow Employee Guy Pesters Her

Jan. 5, 2005 New Gung Ho Leader in Volunteer Group

Dec. 22, 2004 Guy She Helped A Lot To Move To Packwood Found Packwood Lady

Dec. 15, 2004 Beloved Ones Who Drive Intoxicated, and Grandmother Needs Help Putting Up Christmas Lights

Dec. 8, 2004 Wife Drinks Too Much At Parties

Dec. 1, 2004 Holiday Spirit: Proud of Her Country, Co-workers and Family

Nov. 24, 2004 Parenting Children 15 Years Apart, and the Blessings of a Developmentally Delayed Child

Nov. 17, 2004 Product Labels

Nov. 10, 2004 Bearded Guy's Wife Won't Shave Legs

Nov. 3, 2004 Daughter Finds Father's Remarriage Difficult

Oct. 27, 2004 The Bravest People Are The Elderly, and More About Bringing Guest Home to Crude Family

Oct. 20, 2004 Another Bringing New Beau Home to Rude Family plus This Divisive Election

Oct. 13, 2004 Bringing New Beau Home to Rude Family

Oct. 6, 2004 Recipe a guy can make: Cinnamon Rolls

Sept. 29, 2004 Stop complaining and appreciate what we have.

Sept. 22, 2004 It's the long-married who need the household gifts.

Sept. 15, 2004 How Do I Be The Bride's Maid?

Sept. 8, 2004 Political Signs in Morton Jubilee Parade

Sept. 1, 2004 My Mom Danced!

Aug. 25, 2004 If you can do anything you set your mind to, why don't you? Finding clothing for weddings in stores, thrift stores and closets

Aug. 18, 2004 Repeat June 30, 2003: Deer sprinkler and stores don't stock clothes for Washington weather

Aug. 11, 2004 Adjusting to the loss of loved ones and appreciating the family we have.

Aug. 4, 2004 Mom Was Right About The Guy & Reply to a Critic Of Proud To Be An American

July 28, 2004 Go See and Enjoy Your Family

July 21, 2004 Readers Suggest Solutions to Doting Wife

July 14, 2004 Wife Dotes on Husband After Retirement

July 7, 2004 Canadians Think Americans Are Too Proud

June 30, 2004 Annie Column "Trivial?" plus More Supporting Parents

June 23, 2004 Repeat: Packwood Flea Marts

June 16, 2004 Doesn't Want to Marry Older Guy

June 9, 2004 Rented to Friend's Kids

June 2, 2004 Daughter Reluctant to Help Brother Support Parents

May 26, 2004 Littering

May 12 & 19, 2004 Fellow Worker Opposes Birthday Holidays and Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People

May 5, 2004 Strife While Building a House

Apr. 28, 2004 Blessings in a Physically Challenged Child Hunting Easter Eggs

Apr. 21, 2004 Pushy people who keep telling us, "You should..."

Apr. 14, 2004 Abusive Dad, Discourteous Telephoning

Apr. 7, 2004 Guilty About Inadequately Reciprocating to Wonderful Giving Friend

Mar. 31, 2004 Kids Selling Cookies

Mar. 24, 2004 Big Girl Wants to Avoid Brother's Fancy Wedding

Mar. 17, 2004 New Manager Getting Gifts from Subordinate?

Mar. 10, 2004 Loaned Money to Roommate

Mar. 3, 2004 Complaining about Boring Older Peoples' Talk

Feb. 25, 2004 Give Kid's Items to Food Bank

Feb. 18, 2004 Forwarded and Criticized Attachment Then Found Out It Was Written By The Sender, A Friend

Feb. 11, 2004 Messy Roommate

Feb. 4, 2004 Son a moron? No!

Jan. 28, 2004 Bad Phone Manners

Jan. 21, 2004 Avoid Church Because of Flu?

Jan. 14, 2004 Boyfriend Breakup But Gift, Also Relative Tells Private Life

Jan. 7, 2004 Master Tinseller

Dec. 24, 2003 Memories of Good Parents

Dec. 17, 2003 Christmas Gift for Wife?

Dec. 10, 2003 Thanks to Food Bank Helpers

Dec. 3, 2003 Child's Names on Belongings & Appreciating Family at Holidays

Nov. 26, 2003 Big Family Thanksgiving with Paper Plates

Nov. 19, 2003 Mom Feels Daughter Doesn't Change Baby Diaper Quickly Enough, also Donate Pet Food and Hygiene Items to Food Bank

Nov. 12, 2003 Husband Driven Nuts To Do Crafts By Wife

Nov. 5, 2003 Dreading Husband's Retirement

Oct. 29, 2003 Move back home from boyfriend's house?

Oct. 22, 2003 Did I raise my daughter to do these things?

Oct. 15, 2003 Misunderstanding about School Workers' Kindness

Oct. 8, 2003 Prayer for Brown Sisters Killed and Change Schoolyear to Oct.1 to June 30

Oct. 1, 2003 Response About Non-tipping Lotto Winner

Sept. 24, 2003 Church-goers Inattentive

Sept. 17, 2003 Friend Sells My Stuff on Ebay

Sept. 10, 2003 Lottery Winner Didn't Tip Clerk

Sept. 3, 2003 Business Insults to Consumers

Aug. 27, 2003 Divison of Wedding Expense

Aug. 20, 2003 School Workers' Kindness & Men's Attractiveness

Aug. 13, 2003 Attractiveness Hints

Aug. 6, 2003 Annie's Husband's Accident at Work

July 30, 2003 Deer Automatic Sprinkler Best & Stores Don't Stock Washington Clothes

July 23, 2003 Scarecrows and Halloween Decorations Scare Off Prowlers Too

July 16, 2003 Redhead Asks Attractiveness Advice

July 9, 2003 Camper Littering

July 2, 2002 Atomatic Deer Scarecrow Blasts Prowler

June 25, 2003 Library Newsletter Omitted Packwood Library

June 18, 2003 Thank Troops for Freedom