Dec. 8, 2004 Dear Annie,
I started a new job this year that I really like and was lucky to get. The company Christmas party is coming up, and my wife is all excited about going. I'd rather not get into a big fight with her, but she can't hold her liquor, and parties are all about drinking to her. Last time we went out to dinner she started her napkin on fire with the candle on the table and put it out by dumping a glass of water on it! I am afraid of what might happen if she comes with me but can't imagine telling her she's not invited. And of course the people I work with now would like to meet my wife. I'm considering missing it, but what I'd really like to do is attend the party with my wife and have a good time, with no altercations.
No Name
Dear You,
If my reply comes too late, and your "company do" is all done, I hope you were completely honest with your wife. Your letter describes what I've heard referred to as the "elephant in the living room," a big ugly situation people tiptoe around because it is so painful to deal with. Your wife needs to know that her drinking makes her out of control, and embarrasses those she loves. The shame is not in having a problem, but in knowing you have a problem that affects your relationships with others in a negative way, and not doing anything about it. Your wife could really benefit from talking to someone from Alcoholic's Anonymous. For now, talk to your wife, and show her this column. You love her and want the best for her, that's clear to see. Best wishes to the both of you.
Annie
Please write to:
Annie, P.O. Box 1084, Eatonville,WA 98328
E-mail: letters_annie@hotmail.com
Past Ask Annies:
Dec. 8, 2004 Wife Drinks Too Much At Parties
Dec. 1, 2004 Holiday Spirit: Proud of Her Country, Co-workers and Family
Nov. 10, 2004 Bearded Guy's Wife Won't Shave Legs
Nov. 3, 2004 Daughter Finds Father's Remarriage Difficult
Oct. 27, 2004 The Bravest People Are The Elderly, and More About Bringing Guest Home to Crude Family
Oct. 20, 2004 Another Bringing New Beau Home to Rude Family plus This Divisive Election
Oct. 13, 2004 Bringing New Beau Home to Rude Family
Oct. 6, 2004 Recipe a guy can make: Cinnamon Rolls
Sept. 29, 2004 Stop complaining and appreciate what we have.
Sept. 22, 2004 It's the long-married who need the household gifts.
Sept. 15, 2004 How Do I Be The Bride's Maid?
Sept. 8, 2004 Political Signs in Morton Jubilee Parade
Aug. 11, 2004 Adjusting to the loss of loved ones and appreciating the family we have.
Aug. 4, 2004 Mom Was Right About The Guy & Reply to a Critic Of Proud To Be An American
July 28, 2004 Go See and Enjoy Your Family
July 21, 2004 Readers Suggest Solutions to Doting Wife
July 14, 2004 Wife Dotes on Husband After Retirement
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June 30, 2004 Annie Column "Trivial?" plus More Supporting Parents
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