for June 9, 2004 Dear Annie:
I have never written a letter to someone for advice, but I am at a total loss at what to do. I am in the middle of something and don't know how to handle the situation. I manage a rental house in Packwood. I rented the house to a friend's daughter and her boyfriend. After they moved in I had nothing but problems with them. Needless to say I had to take action and they moved out. The problem is now that they have moved out they have been spreading untrue rumors and my friend has taken her daughter's side in all of this. I need advice on what to do. I don't want to lose my friendship with this person, but it seems I have. I am really at the end of my rope on this and hope you can help me with this problem.
Hurt In Packwood
Dear Hurt,
I assume that you treated these people fairly. You probably were more generous with them than you would be with other renters, because they were related to your friend. It is a pity that you did them a favor and they took advantage of you and then treated you badly, but now all you can be in charge of is your own reaction. You have no control over what they say or do, but you can behave maturely and wisely and go on with your business. You say you want to keep your friendship, so be sure to treat that friend well, but let go of the rest of it and get on with life. Anyone who knows what kind of person you are is not going to believe the rumors. I hope your friend can behave kindly and responsibly, too, so you can keep your closeness.
Annie
Please write to: Annie, P.O. Box 1084, Eatonville,WA 98328
E-mail: letters_annie@hotmail.com
Past Ask Annies:
June 9, 2004 Rented to Friend's Kids
June 2, 2004 Daughter Reluctant to Help Brother Support Parents
May 5, 2004 Strife While Building a House
Apr. 28, 2004 Blessings in a Physically Challenged Child Hunting Easter Eggs
Apr. 21, 2004 Pushy people who keep telling us, "You should..."
Apr. 14, 2004 Abusive Dad, Discourteous Telephoning
Apr. 7, 2004 Guilty About Inadequately Reciprocating to Wonderful Giving Friend
Mar. 31, 2004 Kids Selling Cookies
Mar. 24, 2004 Big Girl Wants to Avoid Brother's Fancy Wedding
Mar. 17, 2004 New Manager Getting Gifts from Subordinate?
Mar. 10, 2004 Loaned Money to Roommate
Mar. 3, 2004 Complaining about Boring Older Peoples' Talk
Feb. 25, 2004 Give Kid's Items to Food Bank
Jan. 28, 2004 Bad Phone Manners
Jan. 21, 2004 Avoid Church Because of Flu?
Jan. 14, 2004 Boyfriend Breakup But Gift, Also Relative Tells Private Life
Dec. 24, 2003 Memories of Good Parents
Dec. 17, 2003 Christmas Gift for Wife?
Dec. 10, 2003 Thanks to Food Bank Helpers
Dec. 3, 2003 Child's Names on Belongings & Appreciating Family at Holidays
Nov. 26, 2003 Big Family Thanksgiving with Paper Plates
Nov. 12, 2003 Husband Driven Nuts To Do Crafts By Wife
Nov. 5, 2003 Dreading Husband's Retirement
Oct. 29, 2003 Move back home from boyfriend's house?
Oct. 22, 2003 Did I raise my daughter to do these things?
Oct. 15, 2003 Misunderstanding about School Workers' Kindness
Oct. 8, 2003 Prayer for Brown Sisters Killed and Change Schoolyear to Oct.1 to June 30
Oct. 1, 2003 Response About Non-tipping Lotto Winner
Sept. 24, 2003 Church-goers Inattentive
Sept. 17, 2003 Friend Sells My Stuff on Ebay
Sept. 10, 2003 Lottery Winner Didn't Tip Clerk
Sept. 3, 2003 Business Insults to Consumers
Aug. 27, 2003 Divison of Wedding Expense
Aug. 20, 2003 School Workers' Kindness & Men's Attractiveness
Aug. 13, 2003 Attractiveness Hints
Aug. 6, 2003 Annie's Husband's Accident at Work
July 30, 2003 Deer Automatic Sprinkler Best & Stores Don't Stock Washington Clothes
July 23, 2003 Scarecrows and Halloween Decorations Scare Off Prowlers Too
July 16, 2003 Redhead Asks Attractiveness Advice
July 2, 2002 Atomatic Deer Scarecrow Blasts Prowler