for June 2, 2004 Dear Annie,
My parents are elderly but they still maintain a home. It's a little house my brother owns. I've always appreciated his generosity, but to tell you the truth, I've never thought much else about it. After ten years of this arrangement, it comes out my brother's been paying their utility bills, and he'd like some help. I think they have enough money to pay their own way, especially since he doesn't charge them rent, but since he keeps track of their finances, I don't know. My brother (let's call him Melvin,) says their prescription medicines and groceries are about all they can pull off, financially, anymore. Mel's not hurting financially, but I don't think I can afford to help.
Sister Sue, Mossyrock, WA
Dear Sister,
Wow! You're behaving selfishly! And apparently you have been for years! Your brother cannot be expected to keep shouldering your parents housing costs all by himself. I'm assuming if they didn't live there, he'd make an income from his rental home. Our regional economy is bad, your brother has been more than openhanded all these years, and now it's time for you to step up to the plate and pitch in. You need to count the blessings your brother has given to you and your parents, help pay their utility bills and see if there's anything else you can do for them! Talk to your brother about what you can afford to give and then do it, with no more whining. You've been very fortunate for his help with your parents. Think how their life, and your own, would be without his kindness. I sure wish you'd apologize to your brother, too. You've taken him for granted for years, even if you didn't mean any harm. You should be smart enough to appreciate which side your bread's buttered on.
Annie
Please write to: Annie, P.O. Box 1084, Eatonville,WA 98328
E-mail: letters_annie@hotmail.com
Past Ask Annies:
June 2, 2004 Daughter Reluctant to Help Brother Support Parents
May 5, 2004 Strife While Building a House
Apr. 28, 2004 Blessings in a Physically Challenged Child Hunting Easter Eggs
Apr. 21, 2004 Pushy people who keep telling us, "You should..."
Apr. 14, 2004 Abusive Dad, Discourteous Telephoning
Apr. 7, 2004 Guilty About Inadequately Reciprocating to Wonderful Giving Friend
Mar. 31, 2004 Kids Selling Cookies
Mar. 24, 2004 Big Girl Wants to Avoid Brother's Fancy Wedding
Mar. 17, 2004 New Manager Getting Gifts from Subordinate?
Mar. 10, 2004 Loaned Money to Roommate
Mar. 3, 2004 Complaining about Boring Older Peoples' Talk
Feb. 25, 2004 Give Kid's Items to Food Bank
Jan. 28, 2004 Bad Phone Manners
Jan. 21, 2004 Avoid Church Because of Flu?
Jan. 14, 2004 Boyfriend Breakup But Gift, Also Relative Tells Private Life
Dec. 24, 2003 Memories of Good Parents
Dec. 17, 2003 Christmas Gift for Wife?
Dec. 10, 2003 Thanks to Food Bank Helpers
Dec. 3, 2003 Child's Names on Belongings & Appreciating Family at Holidays
Nov. 26, 2003 Big Family Thanksgiving with Paper Plates
Nov. 12, 2003 Husband Driven Nuts To Do Crafts By Wife
Nov. 5, 2003 Dreading Husband's Retirement
Oct. 29, 2003 Move back home from boyfriend's house?
Oct. 22, 2003 Did I raise my daughter to do these things?
Oct. 15, 2003 Misunderstanding about School Workers' Kindness
Oct. 8, 2003 Prayer for Brown Sisters Killed and Change Schoolyear to Oct.1 to June 30
Oct. 1, 2003 Response About Non-tipping Lotto Winner
Sept. 24, 2003 Church-goers Inattentive
Sept. 17, 2003 Friend Sells My Stuff on Ebay
Sept. 10, 2003 Lottery Winner Didn't Tip Clerk
Sept. 3, 2003 Business Insults to Consumers
Aug. 27, 2003 Divison of Wedding Expense
Aug. 20, 2003 School Workers' Kindness & Men's Attractiveness
Aug. 13, 2003 Attractiveness Hints
Aug. 6, 2003 Annie's Husband's Accident at Work
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July 23, 2003 Scarecrows and Halloween Decorations Scare Off Prowlers Too
July 16, 2003 Redhead Asks Attractiveness Advice
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