for April 21, 2004 Dear Annie,
You've answered letters about pushy people before, but I think what stops those of us who are kind of bothered by them from confronting them is just that: They're pushy! I have a sister who is always full of advice. I don't think she realizes how many times her sentences begin with, "You should..." as in, "You should make that kid get a haircut. You should replace that doormat before someone trips over it and starts a lawsuit. You should go to this or that store where they have this or that on sale... and on and on." My sister works forty to sixty hours a week, and outside of work, she doesn't have many friends or much of a life. What makes her a good worker is that she can see what needs to be done and isn't afraid to get in there and make sure it gets done. But I'm afraid that's what makes her so difficult to spend time with, too, and that's why really the only ones who will put up with her are family. I hope she never reads this, because it would hurt her feelings too much. After being her brother for fifty plus years, I see that she doesn't realize how she comes off to other people at all. In writing this down I hope to call others' attention to it so maybe they'll recognize a habit in themselves that annoys others, and stop. Also, by writing this to you, I get just a little bit of it off my chest! Thanks, Annie.
Hector (Not my real name)
Napavine, WADear Hector,
You're such a nice guy! We'll put this out there in the hopes that others, including myself, stop the next time they want to start a sentence with, "You should..."
Annie
Please write to: Annie, P.O. Box 1084, Eatonville,WA 98328
E-mail: letters_annie@hotmail.com
Past Ask Annies:
Apr. 21, 2004 Pushy people who keep telling us, "You should..."
Apr. 14, 2004 Abusive Dad, Discourteous Telephoning
Apr. 7, 2004 Guilty About Inadequately Reciprocating to Wonderful Giving Friend
Mar. 31, 2004 Kids Selling Cookies
Mar. 24, 2004 Big Girl Wants to Avoid Brother's Fancy Wedding
Mar. 17, 2004 New Manager Getting Gifts from Subordinate?
Mar. 10, 2004 Loaned Money to Roommate
Mar. 3, 2004 Complaining about Boring Older Peoples' Talk
Feb. 25, 2004 Give Kid's Items to Food Bank
Jan. 28, 2004 Bad Phone Manners
Jan. 21, 2004 Avoid Church Because of Flu?
Jan. 14, 2004 Boyfriend Breakup But Gift, Also Relative Tells Private Life
Dec. 24, 2003 Memories of Good Parents
Dec. 17, 2003 Christmas Gift for Wife?
Dec. 10, 2003 Thanks to Food Bank Helpers
Dec. 3, 2003 Child's Names on Belongings & Appreciating Family at Holidays
Nov. 26, 2003 Big Family Thanksgiving with Paper Plates
Nov. 12, 2003 Husband Driven Nuts To Do Crafts By Wife
Nov. 5, 2003 Dreading Husband's Retirement
Oct. 29, 2003 Move back home from boyfriend's house?
Oct. 22, 2003 Did I raise my daughter to do these things?
Oct. 15, 2003 Misunderstanding about School Workers' Kindness
Oct. 8, 2003 Prayer for Brown Sisters Killed and Change Schoolyear to Oct.1 to June 30
Oct. 1, 2003 Response About Non-tipping Lotto Winner
Sept. 24, 2003 Church-goers Inattentive
Sept. 17, 2003 Friend Sells My Stuff on Ebay
Sept. 10, 2003 Lottery Winner Didn't Tip Clerk
Sept. 3, 2003 Business Insults to Consumers
Aug. 27, 2003 Divison of Wedding Expense
Aug. 20, 2003 School Workers' Kindness & Men's Attractiveness
Aug. 13, 2003 Attractiveness Hints
Aug. 6, 2003 Annie's Husband's Accident at Work
July 30, 2003 Deer Automatic Sprinkler Best & Stores Don't Stock Washington Clothes
July 23, 2003 Scarecrows and Halloween Decorations Scare Off Prowlers Too
July 16, 2003 Redhead Asks Attractiveness Advice
July 2, 2002 Atomatic Deer Scarecrow Blasts Prowler