Ask Annie for Mar. 17, 2004 Dear Annie,
Recently, I was promoted to manager at work from a floor position. I'm a man. A woman I've worked with for four years, who never did anything like this before, keeps giving me little presents now. Rarely a day goes by that she doesn't bring me a coffee, muffin, yogurt, or juice. Sometimes she even bakes cookies and brings them in, but she doesn't put the plate on the employee break room table, she puts it on my desk. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I know the other employees have noticed and talk about her doing this, and I want it to stop. How can I bring her behavior to a halt without coming off like a big jerk?
Walter, Graham, WA
Dear Walter,
Tell her you appreciate how open handed she is, but you're afraid if she keeps it up, people might think she's earned her next raise or promotion by sucking up to the new manager instead of by merit alone, and you don't want anyone to be able to say that. If you think this would work in your office, and you don't already do something like it, ask her if she'd like to be in charge of a secret pal week. This could be any week of the year. Have employees draw names, and set out all the parameters before hand. Give people a low dollar limit so everyone can join in, and the gifts will be easy and inexpensive. Letting her be the one to publicize and organize this might be a way to give her generosity free reign without it being focused on you and looking so much like a bid for special treatment on her part. You'll do a good job of handling this, I'm sure, Walter.
Annie
Please write to: Annie, P.O. Box 1084, Eatonville,WA 98328
E-mail: letters_annie@hotmail.com
Past Ask Annies:
Mar. 17, 2004 New Manager Getting Gifts from Subordinate?
Mar. 10, 2004 Loaned Money to Roommate
Mar. 3, 2004 Complaining about Boring Older Peoples' Talk
Feb. 25, 2004 Give Kid's Items to Food Bank
Jan. 28, 2004 Bad Phone Manners
Jan. 21, 2004 Avoid Church Because of Flu?
Jan. 14, 2004 Boyfriend Breakup But Gift, Also Relative Tells Private Life
Dec. 24, 2003 Memories of Good Parents
Dec. 17, 2003 Christmas Gift for Wife?
Dec. 10, 2003 Thanks to Food Bank Helpers
Dec. 3, 2003 Child's Names on Belongings & Appreciating Family at Holidays
Nov. 26, 2003 Big Family Thanksgiving with Paper Plates
Nov. 12, 2003 Husband Driven Nuts To Do Crafts By Wife
Nov. 5, 2003 Dreading Husband's Retirement
Oct. 29, 2003 Move back home from boyfriend's house?
Oct. 22, 2003 Did I raise my daughter to do these things?
Oct. 15, 2003 Misunderstanding about School Workers' Kindness
Oct. 8, 2003 Prayer for Brown Sisters Killed and Change Schoolyear to Oct.1 to June 30
Oct. 1, 2003 Response About Non-tipping Lotto Winner
Sept. 24, 2003 Church-goers Inattentive
Sept. 17, 2003 Friend Sells My Stuff on Ebay
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Aug. 27, 2003 Divison of Wedding Expense
Aug. 20, 2003 School Workers' Kindness & Men's Attractiveness
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Aug. 6, 2003 Annie's Husband's Accident at Work
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