Ask Annie for Mar. 10, 2004 Dear Annie,
I'm kind of miserable. I loaned my roommate some money because I knew he needed to get his car fixed about seven months ago. He got it fixed, but he's never paid me back any of the money and now he booked a vacation for this summer. He hasn't told me about his plans yet, but I saw a trip confirmation print out on the table the other day. He pre-paid for the trip. I don't want to get into it with him, but I can't afford to go anywhere this summer so it burns me to know he is, basically on my money. Should I tell him I know about his trip?
Call Me Jude, Parkland, WA
Dear Jude,
Pick another pseudonym! I'm having an awful time fighting the urge to start this letter, "Hey, Jude. Don't take it bad..." Your friend is being thoughtless. Best case scenario, he plans on paying you back pretty soon and just hasn't said anything. Worst case scenario, he doesn't plan on paying you back. The tone of your letter tells it all. You sound like a really nice guy, one who would help out a friend and doesn't welcome confrontation. I know you don't want to tackle this with him, but you're going to have to. You can't let this simmer under your skin for months. Some other, minor situation will arise and you'll blow up at him because of the resentment you're harboring. You'll feel worse if he goes on the trip and you haven't spoken up. Remember, you aren't doing anything wrong by asking for the repayment of your money. Remind him of the loan and ask him when he planned on paying it back. The fact that he paid for his upcoming trip doesn't need to be brought up.
Annie
Please write to: Annie, P.O. Box 1084, Eatonville,WA 98328
E-mail: letters_annie@hotmail.com
Past Ask Annies:
Mar. 10, 2004 Loaned Money to Roommate
Mar. 3, 2004 Complaining about Boring Older Peoples' Talk
Feb. 25, 2004 Give Kid's Items to Food Bank
Jan. 28, 2004 Bad Phone Manners
Jan. 21, 2004 Avoid Church Because of Flu?
Jan. 14, 2004 Boyfriend Breakup But Gift, Also Relative Tells Private Life
Dec. 24, 2003 Memories of Good Parents
Dec. 17, 2003 Christmas Gift for Wife?
Dec. 10, 2003 Thanks to Food Bank Helpers
Dec. 3, 2003 Child's Names on Belongings & Appreciating Family at Holidays
Nov. 26, 2003 Big Family Thanksgiving with Paper Plates
Nov. 12, 2003 Husband Driven Nuts To Do Crafts By Wife
Nov. 5, 2003 Dreading Husband's Retirement
Oct. 29, 2003 Move back home from boyfriend's house?
Oct. 22, 2003 Did I raise my daughter to do these things?
Oct. 15, 2003 Misunderstanding about School Workers' Kindness
Oct. 8, 2003 Prayer for Brown Sisters Killed and Change Schoolyear to Oct.1 to June 30
Oct. 1, 2003 Response About Non-tipping Lotto Winner
Sept. 24, 2003 Church-goers Inattentive
Sept. 17, 2003 Friend Sells My Stuff on Ebay
Sept. 10, 2003 Lottery Winner Didn't Tip Clerk
Sept. 3, 2003 Business Insults to Consumers
Aug. 27, 2003 Divison of Wedding Expense
Aug. 20, 2003 School Workers' Kindness & Men's Attractiveness
Aug. 13, 2003 Attractiveness Hints
Aug. 6, 2003 Annie's Husband's Accident at Work
July 30, 2003 Deer Automatic Sprinkler Best & Stores Don't Stock Washington Clothes
July 23, 2003 Scarecrows and Halloween Decorations Scare Off Prowlers Too
July 16, 2003 Redhead Asks Attractiveness Advice
July 2, 2002 Atomatic Deer Scarecrow Blasts Prowler