Ask Annie for Jan. 28, 2003 Dear Annie,
My cousin is just rude on the phone. She's nice when we're together, and I don't really think she's a mean, obnoxious person, but often when I call her she says, "I'm in the middle of something right now," and never calls back. Once she even put the phone down without warning me beforehand and just walked away. I figured out what was going on because I could hear the background noise in her house, so I hung up. I confronted her about her behavior and she denies it. She says she doesn't think it's impolite to refuse to talk when you're busy, but had no excuse for just leaving me hanging that day. She says she can't remember it. I like my cousin, and we hang out a lot together, but her phone manners are awful!
Tired of It in Eatonville, WA
Dear Tired,
Since your cousin doesn't think her conduct is shoddy, she won't mind if you treat her the same way. Be busy when she calls and once in a while, leave the phone on the coffee table and walk away. Either she'll dislike the taste of her own medicine and let you know, thus opening up further dialog on how atrocious her own phone manners are, or she won't say a thing and you'll know that, in her world, it's okay to treat people that way. If she never calls, and you are always the one reaching out, maybe you need to rethink the whole situation and ask yourself if your cousin values your company as much as you value spending time with her. One last idea, though: Does her job entail much time on the phone? Mine does, and then I don't want "pleasure" calls when I'm at home.
Annie
Please write to: Annie, P.O. Box 1084, Eatonville,WA 98328
E-mail: letters_annie@hotmail.com
Past Ask Annies:
Jan. 28, 2004 Bad Phone Manners
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