Ask Annie for Aug. 27, 2003
Dear Annie,
The niece whom I have raised since she was a child is getting married this fall. We are now to the point of ordering the wedding cake and planning the reception, and it has become obvious to me that the darling child thinks I have much more money than I do to spend on this. I don't want to break her heart, but after buying her dress, my wallet's already getting thin. Who pays for what in a wedding? I know the groom's family well enough to talk to them about this, but traditionally, how is it divided, financially?
Aunty M, Centralia, WA
Dear Aunty M,
Bad news, I'm afraid. According to bridestuff.com, the bride's parents are responsible to contract and pay for almost everything! The bride buys a ring for her groom, gifts for her attendants and pays for their lodging if needed. She also provides a luncheon for her bridesmaids. The groom buys her rings, pays for the marriage license and flowers for all the female and male attendants and parents/grandparents. He pays the clergy fee and for the honeymoon. If his attendants are from out of town, he puts them up somewhere. The attendants all pay for their own outfits for the wedding, the bridesmaids are responsible for a bridal shower and the groomsmen for the bachelor party. The groom's parents do the rehearsal dinner, and the bride's parents take on everything else! Invitations, photography, gown, reception and cake! Practical people realize that going broke for one fancy day of wedding finery is ridiculous. Talk to your niece about less expensive options. Personally, I would talk to my friends and relatives about helping handle this before approaching the groom's parents. Some of the nicest weddings I've attended were less formal, but much more fun. Good luck.
Annie
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